Develop your intuition and psychic abilities in this 1 day workshop. We all have these extra senses and it's valuable to be able to tap into these senses and use them in our daily life, they give us extra information about people and the world around us. In this 1 day workshop you will learn how to see peoples auras, this tells us a lot about them, what sort of mood they are in, if they are feeling stressed or relaxed and what their thinking patterns are like. You will learn how to use your pendulum effectively so that you can ask questions and gain answers from your subconscious mind, learning things that your subconscious had found answers to but that maybe hadn't filtered into your conscious thoughts. You will do a deep meditation to connect to your spirit guides and a chakra (energy centres) meditation for healing for your whole body. It's a fun day full of discoveries about yourself and your abilities.
Workshop details:
Saturday 3rd December in Kingston upon Thames. 10-4pm. £55 to attend. Book now, email: debs@thekerslakecompany.com to reserve your place.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Hypnobirthing with Pilates, life coaching and meditation
Pilates, meditation and life coaching workshops - 20th November 2011.
10-4pm workshop in Clapham, London area,plus FREE meditation book and hypnobirthing CD provided. Husbands very welcome and valued.
Your Hosts: Rosa Whitehead is an expert in pilates, specialising in pregnancy pilates and a qualified professional life coach. Dr. Deborah Kerslake is a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and master life coach, with an expertise in meditation.
The workshop contains:
Pilates at the beginning and the end of the day. Achieve balance, calmness and clarity in your body and mind with our one day workshop. Review your values and make sure you are congruent in your actions.
Set goals, find your purpose, and take action. Be supported, motivated and inspired with the practical and sustainable tasks we teach you that will help with perspective, improve relationships and help you strive for your full potential.
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else. Yogi Berra
The last part of the workshop is a section on meditation. What is meditation and how can it help you in everyday life?
To de-stress, calm and relax
To help you feel more positive and happy
To help you gain self control
To begin to design your future
To promote personal growth
To increase your health
We will explore different types of meditation
Use breath effectively and how that affects us
Learn to quietening the loud chattering mind
How to relax the body completely
How using visual imagery can improve our health
Doing the ‘Vital Health’ meditation for mastery of the body
£75 per person or £60 for the workshop if you book with a friend or partner! Reserve your space today!
Book Your Space Now! Call or Email Rosa today for more details:
Email: rosa@pilatespluswellness.com
Mobile: 0787 963 7733
10-4pm workshop in Clapham, London area,plus FREE meditation book and hypnobirthing CD provided. Husbands very welcome and valued.
Your Hosts: Rosa Whitehead is an expert in pilates, specialising in pregnancy pilates and a qualified professional life coach. Dr. Deborah Kerslake is a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and master life coach, with an expertise in meditation.
The workshop contains:
Pilates at the beginning and the end of the day. Achieve balance, calmness and clarity in your body and mind with our one day workshop. Review your values and make sure you are congruent in your actions.
Set goals, find your purpose, and take action. Be supported, motivated and inspired with the practical and sustainable tasks we teach you that will help with perspective, improve relationships and help you strive for your full potential.
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else. Yogi Berra
The last part of the workshop is a section on meditation. What is meditation and how can it help you in everyday life?
To de-stress, calm and relax
To help you feel more positive and happy
To help you gain self control
To begin to design your future
To promote personal growth
To increase your health
We will explore different types of meditation
Use breath effectively and how that affects us
Learn to quietening the loud chattering mind
How to relax the body completely
How using visual imagery can improve our health
Doing the ‘Vital Health’ meditation for mastery of the body
£75 per person or £60 for the workshop if you book with a friend or partner! Reserve your space today!
Book Your Space Now! Call or Email Rosa today for more details:
Email: rosa@pilatespluswellness.com
Mobile: 0787 963 7733
Monday, 24 October 2011
Hypnobirthing with Pilates and life coaching
Pilates Hypnobirthing and Life Coaching Workshop sunday 20th November.
Rosa Whitehead and myself have devised a workshop for parents to be to help ladies during their birth stay calm, relaxed and in control of the pain. Being able to remain relaxed will mean you will be working with your body not against it and also possibly have a faster labour too. We have a hypnosis cd for you to own and listen to daily to help you in preparation for and during your birth.
Partners are very welcome and encouraged to join you for our workshop. Not only will it help them understand what you will be going through, it's also very beneficial for their own development and calmness. Helping them manage stress levels and expectations upon them as well as being more involved in the whole experience. We provide great 'core strenght' exercises to help with stretching and mobilisation that previous partners have told us they enjoyed and found beneficial.
We will also be doing a a group hypnotherapy session to help you with your health, confidence and also working on being able to let go of control becoming more relaxed and calm.
You will feel energised, calm, motivated, creative and generally happy and inspired, after your day with us.
We have two Pilates sessions through out the day, tailored to Pregnancy Pilates based in the Clapham/Balham area (venue to be confirmed)
3 group meditations/hypnosis including the hypnobirthing
Life coaching session to look at where you are now and where you want to see your life in the next year and how you want it to look like.
We will do a group hypnosis to imbed this into your subconcious mind. This is a really valuable session to share with your partner and an experience that encourages growing together and sharing experiences together and supporting each other to make the best life for you and your baby possible.
This is a really fun, innovative day. It is insightful, relaxing, fun, inspiring and motivating. Many hypnobirthing workshops run over several weeks, but we have devised the FREE hypnosis CD to listen to daily and therefore you will save money and time by being able to do our course in one day and then listen to the cd in the comfort of your own home to re-inforce all the learnings. .
Cost is £75 discount price (reduced from £90 as a special November promotion! limited spaces available 15 per group.
10am-4pm
sunday 20th november
Contact me for more information.
I look forwards to hearing from you and if you have any friends/collgeaues who may be interested please forward this message on to them
Rosa Whitehead and myself have devised a workshop for parents to be to help ladies during their birth stay calm, relaxed and in control of the pain. Being able to remain relaxed will mean you will be working with your body not against it and also possibly have a faster labour too. We have a hypnosis cd for you to own and listen to daily to help you in preparation for and during your birth.
Partners are very welcome and encouraged to join you for our workshop. Not only will it help them understand what you will be going through, it's also very beneficial for their own development and calmness. Helping them manage stress levels and expectations upon them as well as being more involved in the whole experience. We provide great 'core strenght' exercises to help with stretching and mobilisation that previous partners have told us they enjoyed and found beneficial.
We will also be doing a a group hypnotherapy session to help you with your health, confidence and also working on being able to let go of control becoming more relaxed and calm.
You will feel energised, calm, motivated, creative and generally happy and inspired, after your day with us.
We have two Pilates sessions through out the day, tailored to Pregnancy Pilates based in the Clapham/Balham area (venue to be confirmed)
3 group meditations/hypnosis including the hypnobirthing
Life coaching session to look at where you are now and where you want to see your life in the next year and how you want it to look like.
We will do a group hypnosis to imbed this into your subconcious mind. This is a really valuable session to share with your partner and an experience that encourages growing together and sharing experiences together and supporting each other to make the best life for you and your baby possible.
This is a really fun, innovative day. It is insightful, relaxing, fun, inspiring and motivating. Many hypnobirthing workshops run over several weeks, but we have devised the FREE hypnosis CD to listen to daily and therefore you will save money and time by being able to do our course in one day and then listen to the cd in the comfort of your own home to re-inforce all the learnings. .
Cost is £75 discount price (reduced from £90 as a special November promotion! limited spaces available 15 per group.
10am-4pm
sunday 20th november
Contact me for more information.
I look forwards to hearing from you and if you have any friends/collgeaues who may be interested please forward this message on to them
Friday, 27 May 2011
My Italian Adventure
28 years ago I toured Europe and to a girl who grew up in New Zealand and hadn't really been that interested in world history, it was like a slide into Alice in Wonderlands magical world. It literally opened my eyes to human history and beauty and architechure that I didn't realise existed before. Incredible!
A few months ago my daughter and husband were asking me about my travels and what was my favourite place in the world, a difficult question to answer, I've travelled quite a lot and have many favourite places. But if I had to say one country for shear accumulative beauty it would have to be Italy.
so for my 50th birthday they bought me a 2 week holiday in Italy - fabulous. What a great family I have.
We arrived in Pisa and picked up our hire car. Driving in Italy is FUN, indicators seem to be a nice to have but by no means essential part of the process,this means that my psychic radar has to be full on all the time to try and guess which way, how fast, far and brave the other drivers feel as I pootle along the narrow roads trying to get a feel for the car, many of these roads have no footpaths so obsticles such as very old men wheeling bycycles, old women walking dogs, tiny green 3 wheeled vehicles going at 5 miles an hour all have to be factured into your radar alert, as well as the other drivers. Not to mention that in Italy they drive on the other side of the road and the controls are on the other side of the car.
I had an incling as to what I was getting myself into when at the car hire the Italian lady who was booking us in looked absolutely HORRIFIED when we didn't have extra insurance cover - guided by her distress and local knowledge we duly took it out and thank goodness for that!
next, a word about Italian Truck drivers.......
Just to put your mind at rest we made it in one piece to our hotel just outside of Montepulciano - a gorgeous Hill top castle (where they filmed the Twilight films) more later on this fabulous city.
speak soon as I continue my adventures in Italy.
A few months ago my daughter and husband were asking me about my travels and what was my favourite place in the world, a difficult question to answer, I've travelled quite a lot and have many favourite places. But if I had to say one country for shear accumulative beauty it would have to be Italy.
so for my 50th birthday they bought me a 2 week holiday in Italy - fabulous. What a great family I have.
We arrived in Pisa and picked up our hire car. Driving in Italy is FUN, indicators seem to be a nice to have but by no means essential part of the process,this means that my psychic radar has to be full on all the time to try and guess which way, how fast, far and brave the other drivers feel as I pootle along the narrow roads trying to get a feel for the car, many of these roads have no footpaths so obsticles such as very old men wheeling bycycles, old women walking dogs, tiny green 3 wheeled vehicles going at 5 miles an hour all have to be factured into your radar alert, as well as the other drivers. Not to mention that in Italy they drive on the other side of the road and the controls are on the other side of the car.
I had an incling as to what I was getting myself into when at the car hire the Italian lady who was booking us in looked absolutely HORRIFIED when we didn't have extra insurance cover - guided by her distress and local knowledge we duly took it out and thank goodness for that!
next, a word about Italian Truck drivers.......
Just to put your mind at rest we made it in one piece to our hotel just outside of Montepulciano - a gorgeous Hill top castle (where they filmed the Twilight films) more later on this fabulous city.
speak soon as I continue my adventures in Italy.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
'Seven-time cancer survivor Phil Kerslake - medical miracle or a really smart application of Action and Attitude?
We speak to Phil in a candid interview to find out more about his journey and how he kept managing to defy the odds and survive.
We look at where he’s developed and designed his life to date and just how was he able to create the life he loves now with his incredible family. You too can use these techniques for your health and well being.
Phil has heavily researched allopathic and naturopathic tools that have helped him over the years to create health, energy, vitality and a positive mental attitude that crosses over to all aspects of his life and career.
Q. So Phil, when you were first diagnosed at age 19, did you ever think that you’d be speaking to me at age 50 with 2 great children and a loving wife?
A.
Well Debs, yes to the first part of the question, no to the second.
I always believed, even as a teenager still in shock from getting a terminal prognosis that somehow I would survive well into the future, with every prospect that I would live a normal life span.
I had a vision of myself still here as an older man, doing what I was here to do (though I hadn't worked that aspect out exactly yet) and I never felt in my heart that cancer would be my cause of death. I had no medical basis to reach that conclusion - I guess you can call it 'bloke's intuition!?' So far so good anyway.
On the family front, as a younger man I was doubtful that I would ever meet someone I would marry and I was unconvinced that raising children would be an experience rewarding enough to justify the cost required in commitment and financial terms.
The kind of compatibility that's necessary to make for a lifetime relationship, particularly when you have a stubborn and quite uncompromising nature like I unfortunately do, is so rare. And children get a lot of bad press in some circles, with the picture received by non-parents being, you give birth to them, raise them with all you have, then end up with these ungrateful, vulgar and destructive beasts that are called teenagers. Not an appealing prospect.
Of course being sterilised in my 20s through chemotherapy meant if I ever changed my mind about children, there would need to be some planning done and alternative options considered.
Through my 20s and 30s I went through a lot of hard treatments with each recurrence or new cancer diagnosis, and I found a lot of my answers about how best to cope with these very trying times to maximise my survival chances. I read and researched, and then used myself as my own case study on what was helpful and what was not.
When I first met Gill I was quickly taken by her demure and kindly nature and her sense of humour. Also she looked great, being very pretty and voluptuous (i.e. my type). We were very compatible from the start - she could 'manage' me in ways that negated my negative traits and encouraged my good ones.
Shortly after Dad died, early 1997 and about 3 and a half years into my and Gill's relationship, I suddenly had this epiphany that Gill and I would and should be together for life. I did the (for me) unthinkable and proposed to her, in a traditional way, and it felt 100% right for me from that moment on. Now, almost to the day, it's 14 years after I went down on my knees and 17 years after our first date!
Children were still not in the plans, but after my lifetime 5th and 6th cancer battles in the mid-2000s, having been something of a corporate workaholic to that point, I made sea changes in my life. I needed to give myself time and space to align to my own values, and to really meet my needs. I wrote my first book Life, Happiness ... & Cancer, began my cancer patient support work and established myself as a life and leadership coach.
I appeared on a morning TV show to promote my book, and the producers contacted me asking if I wanted to audition for a weekly spot on the show as the resident Life Coach. I auditioned, they liked me, and there I was, speaking to the nation's morning viewers weekly on how to enhance their lives.
The joy and fulfilment in my life had improved immeasurably, which led me to ask Gill about her life. It was me who broached the question of children after many years where neither of us raised it. Gill's immediate response, quiet tears, gave me my answer. With some trepidation I set the wheels in motion for us to explore anonymous donor insemination through a fertility clinic.
When each of our boys was born, for me it was love at first site. Latent paternal instincts came to the fore immediately. I actually helped deliver both boys - had my own rubber catcher's mits and everything! While initially daunting, in reality it was a deep and touching experience for me, bonding me with the boys right from their first breaths.
So here I am, a 52-year-old man as at May 24 with 2- and a 3-year-old sons and I wife I adore, like and admire more and more by the year. I'm living with active disease via my lifetime 7th diagnosis, but have no current ill effects from the cancer.
So again, yes I believed I'd still be here now, and indeed here I am. And no, it's a complete but joyous surprise how family came into my life to enrich it beyond what I could ever have imagined.
Tune in as we follow Phil's ongoing story and how he overcame every one of those potentially lethal diagnoses. He will give you tips and tools that have helped him survive and thrive. Also his insights as to how cancer affects not just the recipient, but their family and friends.
If you have any questions that you'd like to ask Phil, then please comment and we'll put those questions to him.
You can buy Phils book 'Life Happiness,... and Cancer, survive with action and attitude' here http://www.steeleroberts.co.nz/books/isbn/1-877338-87-7
I'm proud to acknowledge Phil as my big brother and massive inspiration for my own life.
Deborah Kerslake
We look at where he’s developed and designed his life to date and just how was he able to create the life he loves now with his incredible family. You too can use these techniques for your health and well being.
Phil has heavily researched allopathic and naturopathic tools that have helped him over the years to create health, energy, vitality and a positive mental attitude that crosses over to all aspects of his life and career.
Q. So Phil, when you were first diagnosed at age 19, did you ever think that you’d be speaking to me at age 50 with 2 great children and a loving wife?
A.
Well Debs, yes to the first part of the question, no to the second.
I always believed, even as a teenager still in shock from getting a terminal prognosis that somehow I would survive well into the future, with every prospect that I would live a normal life span.
I had a vision of myself still here as an older man, doing what I was here to do (though I hadn't worked that aspect out exactly yet) and I never felt in my heart that cancer would be my cause of death. I had no medical basis to reach that conclusion - I guess you can call it 'bloke's intuition!?' So far so good anyway.
On the family front, as a younger man I was doubtful that I would ever meet someone I would marry and I was unconvinced that raising children would be an experience rewarding enough to justify the cost required in commitment and financial terms.
The kind of compatibility that's necessary to make for a lifetime relationship, particularly when you have a stubborn and quite uncompromising nature like I unfortunately do, is so rare. And children get a lot of bad press in some circles, with the picture received by non-parents being, you give birth to them, raise them with all you have, then end up with these ungrateful, vulgar and destructive beasts that are called teenagers. Not an appealing prospect.
Of course being sterilised in my 20s through chemotherapy meant if I ever changed my mind about children, there would need to be some planning done and alternative options considered.
Through my 20s and 30s I went through a lot of hard treatments with each recurrence or new cancer diagnosis, and I found a lot of my answers about how best to cope with these very trying times to maximise my survival chances. I read and researched, and then used myself as my own case study on what was helpful and what was not.
When I first met Gill I was quickly taken by her demure and kindly nature and her sense of humour. Also she looked great, being very pretty and voluptuous (i.e. my type). We were very compatible from the start - she could 'manage' me in ways that negated my negative traits and encouraged my good ones.
Shortly after Dad died, early 1997 and about 3 and a half years into my and Gill's relationship, I suddenly had this epiphany that Gill and I would and should be together for life. I did the (for me) unthinkable and proposed to her, in a traditional way, and it felt 100% right for me from that moment on. Now, almost to the day, it's 14 years after I went down on my knees and 17 years after our first date!
Children were still not in the plans, but after my lifetime 5th and 6th cancer battles in the mid-2000s, having been something of a corporate workaholic to that point, I made sea changes in my life. I needed to give myself time and space to align to my own values, and to really meet my needs. I wrote my first book Life, Happiness ... & Cancer, began my cancer patient support work and established myself as a life and leadership coach.
I appeared on a morning TV show to promote my book, and the producers contacted me asking if I wanted to audition for a weekly spot on the show as the resident Life Coach. I auditioned, they liked me, and there I was, speaking to the nation's morning viewers weekly on how to enhance their lives.
The joy and fulfilment in my life had improved immeasurably, which led me to ask Gill about her life. It was me who broached the question of children after many years where neither of us raised it. Gill's immediate response, quiet tears, gave me my answer. With some trepidation I set the wheels in motion for us to explore anonymous donor insemination through a fertility clinic.
When each of our boys was born, for me it was love at first site. Latent paternal instincts came to the fore immediately. I actually helped deliver both boys - had my own rubber catcher's mits and everything! While initially daunting, in reality it was a deep and touching experience for me, bonding me with the boys right from their first breaths.
So here I am, a 52-year-old man as at May 24 with 2- and a 3-year-old sons and I wife I adore, like and admire more and more by the year. I'm living with active disease via my lifetime 7th diagnosis, but have no current ill effects from the cancer.
So again, yes I believed I'd still be here now, and indeed here I am. And no, it's a complete but joyous surprise how family came into my life to enrich it beyond what I could ever have imagined.
Tune in as we follow Phil's ongoing story and how he overcame every one of those potentially lethal diagnoses. He will give you tips and tools that have helped him survive and thrive. Also his insights as to how cancer affects not just the recipient, but their family and friends.
If you have any questions that you'd like to ask Phil, then please comment and we'll put those questions to him.
You can buy Phils book 'Life Happiness,... and Cancer, survive with action and attitude' here http://www.steeleroberts.co.nz/books/isbn/1-877338-87-7
I'm proud to acknowledge Phil as my big brother and massive inspiration for my own life.
Deborah Kerslake
Thursday, 5 May 2011
I'm strugging and feeling stuck - Dr. Debs replies
The Call for help:
Hi Deborah,
I hope you don't mind, but just wanted to email you, as been really struggling recently.
I am completely exhausted and have no energy. Having difficult doing anything, get up to go to work, getting to the gym!!
Been trying to do stuff on the computer, but can't seem to work out what I am trying to achieve!
My partner is doing really well and studying, but I am just stuck where I am!!
It seems that everyone, is moving forward and have a direction in their lives!! Can't seem to find a way out!! I haven't been sleeping that well, I have put on the meditation CD that you gave me, to help me fall back to sleep again!!
Any advice or help that you can give me, would be very much appreciated!! :)
I hope to hear from you soon.
Dr. Debs Reply:
I'm so sorry you are struggling. On reading your email it really came across to me that the way you are feeling is caused by not taking control of your life.
Of feeling that everyone else has control but you don't, that perhaps you don't deserve to take control somehow.
My thoughts are, 'what is the worst that can happen if you begin to ask for what you want?'
Do you think you'd feel any worse than you do now? Do you think that taking a risk by moving in a direction that you'd love would hurt you or help you?
Do you think it will be too difficult? Yes it might be for a while, but honestly, all change is challenging and asking for what you want and continuing to ask for what you want is the way forward.
From our sessions together I know that we've gained clarity regarding what it is that you would love out of your life.
Ask yourself, what's the next step? - what's one thing that you could do to move you forward? And just do that.
Good luck, Go with my love, Debs xxxx
Clients reply:
I believe with your help that anything is possible!! And nothing is impossible!! Just need to find what I want!!
Thank you with all my heart for help!!
P.s - of you course you can use this on your website!! It would be my privilege to be part of something that has changed so many lives!!
Thank you so much!! You are so right, I think that I can't or don't know how to take control and when I start to move emotionally in the right direction, I stop!! Like this business idea! I have started piecing it together, but I find it difficult as struggling to find what I am trying to achieve??
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Body mind spirit workshop
Pilates/Group Coaching and Meditation Workshop
With Dr. Deborah Kerslake and PilatesPlusWellness - Rosa Whitehead
Sunday 8th May 2011
10am – 4pm
Book Today by contacting Rosa to reserve your space
rosa@pilatespluswellness.com Mob 07879637733
Feel the connection with your Body/Mind and Spirit –
The workshop will include Pilates and stretching class to energise and at the same time relax you for the day ahead. After Pilates and Stretching we will explore and explain how the mind actually works. Then we will go through a goal setting exercise to help clarify what it is that you’d like to achieve and by when; and create a few points that you can action immediately to achieve that end result. Finally, we will be doing a reflective process to cement this desired outcome into the unconscious mind – where all change happens. If we take control of our lives and thoughts and give our direction some focus and attention, it’s amazing how things can change for us.
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else. Yogi Berra
The last part of the workshop is a section on meditation. What is meditation and how can it help you in everyday life?
We will explore different types of meditation
Clapham North Arts Center, Unit 7B, Fwd studios, Voltaire Road, sw4 6dh
12 spaces Available per workshop. £75 per person Book Today and Take Action
Saturday, 30 April 2011
The Royal Wedding - the art of inclusion
Whilst watching the Royal Wedding of William and Catherine on t.v. I was touched and amazed by how this happy event had united a country and in fact a world, with many millions of people watching from all over the globe - I felt very privileged to be living in London. The outpouring of love, affection and positivity was heart warming and made me feel very hopeful for our future.
The word that kept coming to my mind as I listened to the commentary was 'Inclusion', what I think they did so amazingly well (amongst so many other things) was to include and unite people, countries, religions and races. I believe that there was something for everyone.
I particularly loved The Right Reverend Dr. Richard Chartres, Lord Bishop of London's reading when he said. 'The more we give of self, the richer we become of soul, the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed'. He went onto say When a solemn decision is made by saying 'I WILL' you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving and which will lead to a creative future for the human race. We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril - human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely the power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge but rather by an increase in loving wisdom and reverence for life, for the earth and for one another.
My hope is that we will all be striving assiduously to embrace the virtues of love, acceptance, forgiveness, helpfulness, service and a positive attitude as an example to others.
With love
Dr. Deborah Kerslake
The word that kept coming to my mind as I listened to the commentary was 'Inclusion', what I think they did so amazingly well (amongst so many other things) was to include and unite people, countries, religions and races. I believe that there was something for everyone.
I particularly loved The Right Reverend Dr. Richard Chartres, Lord Bishop of London's reading when he said. 'The more we give of self, the richer we become of soul, the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed'. He went onto say When a solemn decision is made by saying 'I WILL' you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving and which will lead to a creative future for the human race. We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril - human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely the power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge but rather by an increase in loving wisdom and reverence for life, for the earth and for one another.
My hope is that we will all be striving assiduously to embrace the virtues of love, acceptance, forgiveness, helpfulness, service and a positive attitude as an example to others.
With love
Dr. Deborah Kerslake
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Don't believe everything you think
As a psychotherapist many people come to me with what I call 'faulty thinking'. They tell me a story about themselves that has evolved in their minds over the course of time, that they now believe to be true.
It could have been added to by people in a position of authority who said something about them that was negative or a parent or close friend or loved one - basically someone who's opinion mattered to them. What can happen is that we may question our own values and motives in favour of the external person and if we take on board their opinion then we start to deviate from our own self to another self who is possibly more acceptable to those we love. It's a natural thing for people to do, we all want to fit it, belong somewhere, be loved. It's an essential state for us, however what can happen is that bit by bit, over a period of time, if we keep taking other people's opnions above our own, then we start to lose our own unique identify and adjust and adapt until we hardly recognise ourselves anymore.
This leads to a state of confusion and discontent. There is a part of us that knows and understands that this isn't US, it's a face that we show to the world to gain love and attention. It creates a disharmony within us. If we continue taking other peoples opinions above our own (especially if they are negative or critical) we can decend down a gloomy path towards anxiety, inability to make decisions (in case they are wrong) and ultimately depression. I've heard the phrase that depression is anger without enthusiasm and I don't wish to minimise the horrific effects that depression can have on us, however I'd like to give hope to people by suggesting that by starting to listen to and trust our own intituition and inner wisdom and by starting to recognise that other people's opinions of ourselves could have been wrong or certainly skewed by their own understanding, then we can start to climb back into our skins, into our authentic selves, back to calmness.
Ultimately our thinking is influenced by so many outside influences that we must acknowledge that our thoughts are just, well, thoughts - they are not necessarily right or correct or wrong or bad, they are simply thoughts and we have billions of them everyday. So please remember that what you are thinking of is mearly a combination of accumulated learnings along the way that you have believed. If these thoughts have led you to believe that you are not worthy or not acceptable or not a good person, then please challenge these thoughts instantly and energetically and keep challenging them until you realise that underneith all the changing and adapting that you've done over the years to feel acceptable, wanted and loved, is an amazing human being who is valuable and unique and an asset to the world. I'd like you to see that person, acknowledge that person and learn to love that person because it's YOU.
It could have been added to by people in a position of authority who said something about them that was negative or a parent or close friend or loved one - basically someone who's opinion mattered to them. What can happen is that we may question our own values and motives in favour of the external person and if we take on board their opinion then we start to deviate from our own self to another self who is possibly more acceptable to those we love. It's a natural thing for people to do, we all want to fit it, belong somewhere, be loved. It's an essential state for us, however what can happen is that bit by bit, over a period of time, if we keep taking other people's opnions above our own, then we start to lose our own unique identify and adjust and adapt until we hardly recognise ourselves anymore.
This leads to a state of confusion and discontent. There is a part of us that knows and understands that this isn't US, it's a face that we show to the world to gain love and attention. It creates a disharmony within us. If we continue taking other peoples opinions above our own (especially if they are negative or critical) we can decend down a gloomy path towards anxiety, inability to make decisions (in case they are wrong) and ultimately depression. I've heard the phrase that depression is anger without enthusiasm and I don't wish to minimise the horrific effects that depression can have on us, however I'd like to give hope to people by suggesting that by starting to listen to and trust our own intituition and inner wisdom and by starting to recognise that other people's opinions of ourselves could have been wrong or certainly skewed by their own understanding, then we can start to climb back into our skins, into our authentic selves, back to calmness.
Ultimately our thinking is influenced by so many outside influences that we must acknowledge that our thoughts are just, well, thoughts - they are not necessarily right or correct or wrong or bad, they are simply thoughts and we have billions of them everyday. So please remember that what you are thinking of is mearly a combination of accumulated learnings along the way that you have believed. If these thoughts have led you to believe that you are not worthy or not acceptable or not a good person, then please challenge these thoughts instantly and energetically and keep challenging them until you realise that underneith all the changing and adapting that you've done over the years to feel acceptable, wanted and loved, is an amazing human being who is valuable and unique and an asset to the world. I'd like you to see that person, acknowledge that person and learn to love that person because it's YOU.
Friday, 22 April 2011
Focus on Solutions
When you focus on the problem not the solution, our minds get stuck and go round in circles, eventually the problem grows in our mind and seems bigger than ever.
A simple way to overcome this is to think about solutions, ask yourself 'how can I' - overcome this problem, get out of this situation, reach my goal.
The unconscious mind is a fantastic problem solver, it does this for us every day, so when we ask a question like 'how can I' it gives the unconscious mind a focus and we will notice ways out of the situation - options will float up to the conscious part of our mind and help us.
Focussing on solutions also helps us remain confidence in our abilities and feeling positive and optimistic about ourselves and our lives.
A simple way to overcome this is to think about solutions, ask yourself 'how can I' - overcome this problem, get out of this situation, reach my goal.
The unconscious mind is a fantastic problem solver, it does this for us every day, so when we ask a question like 'how can I' it gives the unconscious mind a focus and we will notice ways out of the situation - options will float up to the conscious part of our mind and help us.
Focussing on solutions also helps us remain confidence in our abilities and feeling positive and optimistic about ourselves and our lives.
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