28 years ago I toured Europe and to a girl who grew up in New Zealand and hadn't really been that interested in world history, it was like a slide into Alice in Wonderlands magical world. It literally opened my eyes to human history and beauty and architechure that I didn't realise existed before. Incredible!
A few months ago my daughter and husband were asking me about my travels and what was my favourite place in the world, a difficult question to answer, I've travelled quite a lot and have many favourite places. But if I had to say one country for shear accumulative beauty it would have to be Italy.
so for my 50th birthday they bought me a 2 week holiday in Italy - fabulous. What a great family I have.
We arrived in Pisa and picked up our hire car. Driving in Italy is FUN, indicators seem to be a nice to have but by no means essential part of the process,this means that my psychic radar has to be full on all the time to try and guess which way, how fast, far and brave the other drivers feel as I pootle along the narrow roads trying to get a feel for the car, many of these roads have no footpaths so obsticles such as very old men wheeling bycycles, old women walking dogs, tiny green 3 wheeled vehicles going at 5 miles an hour all have to be factured into your radar alert, as well as the other drivers. Not to mention that in Italy they drive on the other side of the road and the controls are on the other side of the car.
I had an incling as to what I was getting myself into when at the car hire the Italian lady who was booking us in looked absolutely HORRIFIED when we didn't have extra insurance cover - guided by her distress and local knowledge we duly took it out and thank goodness for that!
next, a word about Italian Truck drivers.......
Just to put your mind at rest we made it in one piece to our hotel just outside of Montepulciano - a gorgeous Hill top castle (where they filmed the Twilight films) more later on this fabulous city.
speak soon as I continue my adventures in Italy.
Friday 27 May 2011
Tuesday 17 May 2011
'Seven-time cancer survivor Phil Kerslake - medical miracle or a really smart application of Action and Attitude?
We speak to Phil in a candid interview to find out more about his journey and how he kept managing to defy the odds and survive.
We look at where he’s developed and designed his life to date and just how was he able to create the life he loves now with his incredible family. You too can use these techniques for your health and well being.
Phil has heavily researched allopathic and naturopathic tools that have helped him over the years to create health, energy, vitality and a positive mental attitude that crosses over to all aspects of his life and career.
Q. So Phil, when you were first diagnosed at age 19, did you ever think that you’d be speaking to me at age 50 with 2 great children and a loving wife?
A.
Well Debs, yes to the first part of the question, no to the second.
I always believed, even as a teenager still in shock from getting a terminal prognosis that somehow I would survive well into the future, with every prospect that I would live a normal life span.
I had a vision of myself still here as an older man, doing what I was here to do (though I hadn't worked that aspect out exactly yet) and I never felt in my heart that cancer would be my cause of death. I had no medical basis to reach that conclusion - I guess you can call it 'bloke's intuition!?' So far so good anyway.
On the family front, as a younger man I was doubtful that I would ever meet someone I would marry and I was unconvinced that raising children would be an experience rewarding enough to justify the cost required in commitment and financial terms.
The kind of compatibility that's necessary to make for a lifetime relationship, particularly when you have a stubborn and quite uncompromising nature like I unfortunately do, is so rare. And children get a lot of bad press in some circles, with the picture received by non-parents being, you give birth to them, raise them with all you have, then end up with these ungrateful, vulgar and destructive beasts that are called teenagers. Not an appealing prospect.
Of course being sterilised in my 20s through chemotherapy meant if I ever changed my mind about children, there would need to be some planning done and alternative options considered.
Through my 20s and 30s I went through a lot of hard treatments with each recurrence or new cancer diagnosis, and I found a lot of my answers about how best to cope with these very trying times to maximise my survival chances. I read and researched, and then used myself as my own case study on what was helpful and what was not.
When I first met Gill I was quickly taken by her demure and kindly nature and her sense of humour. Also she looked great, being very pretty and voluptuous (i.e. my type). We were very compatible from the start - she could 'manage' me in ways that negated my negative traits and encouraged my good ones.
Shortly after Dad died, early 1997 and about 3 and a half years into my and Gill's relationship, I suddenly had this epiphany that Gill and I would and should be together for life. I did the (for me) unthinkable and proposed to her, in a traditional way, and it felt 100% right for me from that moment on. Now, almost to the day, it's 14 years after I went down on my knees and 17 years after our first date!
Children were still not in the plans, but after my lifetime 5th and 6th cancer battles in the mid-2000s, having been something of a corporate workaholic to that point, I made sea changes in my life. I needed to give myself time and space to align to my own values, and to really meet my needs. I wrote my first book Life, Happiness ... & Cancer, began my cancer patient support work and established myself as a life and leadership coach.
I appeared on a morning TV show to promote my book, and the producers contacted me asking if I wanted to audition for a weekly spot on the show as the resident Life Coach. I auditioned, they liked me, and there I was, speaking to the nation's morning viewers weekly on how to enhance their lives.
The joy and fulfilment in my life had improved immeasurably, which led me to ask Gill about her life. It was me who broached the question of children after many years where neither of us raised it. Gill's immediate response, quiet tears, gave me my answer. With some trepidation I set the wheels in motion for us to explore anonymous donor insemination through a fertility clinic.
When each of our boys was born, for me it was love at first site. Latent paternal instincts came to the fore immediately. I actually helped deliver both boys - had my own rubber catcher's mits and everything! While initially daunting, in reality it was a deep and touching experience for me, bonding me with the boys right from their first breaths.
So here I am, a 52-year-old man as at May 24 with 2- and a 3-year-old sons and I wife I adore, like and admire more and more by the year. I'm living with active disease via my lifetime 7th diagnosis, but have no current ill effects from the cancer.
So again, yes I believed I'd still be here now, and indeed here I am. And no, it's a complete but joyous surprise how family came into my life to enrich it beyond what I could ever have imagined.
Tune in as we follow Phil's ongoing story and how he overcame every one of those potentially lethal diagnoses. He will give you tips and tools that have helped him survive and thrive. Also his insights as to how cancer affects not just the recipient, but their family and friends.
If you have any questions that you'd like to ask Phil, then please comment and we'll put those questions to him.
You can buy Phils book 'Life Happiness,... and Cancer, survive with action and attitude' here http://www.steeleroberts.co.nz/books/isbn/1-877338-87-7
I'm proud to acknowledge Phil as my big brother and massive inspiration for my own life.
Deborah Kerslake
We look at where he’s developed and designed his life to date and just how was he able to create the life he loves now with his incredible family. You too can use these techniques for your health and well being.
Phil has heavily researched allopathic and naturopathic tools that have helped him over the years to create health, energy, vitality and a positive mental attitude that crosses over to all aspects of his life and career.
Q. So Phil, when you were first diagnosed at age 19, did you ever think that you’d be speaking to me at age 50 with 2 great children and a loving wife?
A.
Well Debs, yes to the first part of the question, no to the second.
I always believed, even as a teenager still in shock from getting a terminal prognosis that somehow I would survive well into the future, with every prospect that I would live a normal life span.
I had a vision of myself still here as an older man, doing what I was here to do (though I hadn't worked that aspect out exactly yet) and I never felt in my heart that cancer would be my cause of death. I had no medical basis to reach that conclusion - I guess you can call it 'bloke's intuition!?' So far so good anyway.
On the family front, as a younger man I was doubtful that I would ever meet someone I would marry and I was unconvinced that raising children would be an experience rewarding enough to justify the cost required in commitment and financial terms.
The kind of compatibility that's necessary to make for a lifetime relationship, particularly when you have a stubborn and quite uncompromising nature like I unfortunately do, is so rare. And children get a lot of bad press in some circles, with the picture received by non-parents being, you give birth to them, raise them with all you have, then end up with these ungrateful, vulgar and destructive beasts that are called teenagers. Not an appealing prospect.
Of course being sterilised in my 20s through chemotherapy meant if I ever changed my mind about children, there would need to be some planning done and alternative options considered.
Through my 20s and 30s I went through a lot of hard treatments with each recurrence or new cancer diagnosis, and I found a lot of my answers about how best to cope with these very trying times to maximise my survival chances. I read and researched, and then used myself as my own case study on what was helpful and what was not.
When I first met Gill I was quickly taken by her demure and kindly nature and her sense of humour. Also she looked great, being very pretty and voluptuous (i.e. my type). We were very compatible from the start - she could 'manage' me in ways that negated my negative traits and encouraged my good ones.
Shortly after Dad died, early 1997 and about 3 and a half years into my and Gill's relationship, I suddenly had this epiphany that Gill and I would and should be together for life. I did the (for me) unthinkable and proposed to her, in a traditional way, and it felt 100% right for me from that moment on. Now, almost to the day, it's 14 years after I went down on my knees and 17 years after our first date!
Children were still not in the plans, but after my lifetime 5th and 6th cancer battles in the mid-2000s, having been something of a corporate workaholic to that point, I made sea changes in my life. I needed to give myself time and space to align to my own values, and to really meet my needs. I wrote my first book Life, Happiness ... & Cancer, began my cancer patient support work and established myself as a life and leadership coach.
I appeared on a morning TV show to promote my book, and the producers contacted me asking if I wanted to audition for a weekly spot on the show as the resident Life Coach. I auditioned, they liked me, and there I was, speaking to the nation's morning viewers weekly on how to enhance their lives.
The joy and fulfilment in my life had improved immeasurably, which led me to ask Gill about her life. It was me who broached the question of children after many years where neither of us raised it. Gill's immediate response, quiet tears, gave me my answer. With some trepidation I set the wheels in motion for us to explore anonymous donor insemination through a fertility clinic.
When each of our boys was born, for me it was love at first site. Latent paternal instincts came to the fore immediately. I actually helped deliver both boys - had my own rubber catcher's mits and everything! While initially daunting, in reality it was a deep and touching experience for me, bonding me with the boys right from their first breaths.
So here I am, a 52-year-old man as at May 24 with 2- and a 3-year-old sons and I wife I adore, like and admire more and more by the year. I'm living with active disease via my lifetime 7th diagnosis, but have no current ill effects from the cancer.
So again, yes I believed I'd still be here now, and indeed here I am. And no, it's a complete but joyous surprise how family came into my life to enrich it beyond what I could ever have imagined.
Tune in as we follow Phil's ongoing story and how he overcame every one of those potentially lethal diagnoses. He will give you tips and tools that have helped him survive and thrive. Also his insights as to how cancer affects not just the recipient, but their family and friends.
If you have any questions that you'd like to ask Phil, then please comment and we'll put those questions to him.
You can buy Phils book 'Life Happiness,... and Cancer, survive with action and attitude' here http://www.steeleroberts.co.nz/books/isbn/1-877338-87-7
I'm proud to acknowledge Phil as my big brother and massive inspiration for my own life.
Deborah Kerslake
Thursday 5 May 2011
I'm strugging and feeling stuck - Dr. Debs replies
The Call for help:
Hi Deborah,
I hope you don't mind, but just wanted to email you, as been really struggling recently.
I am completely exhausted and have no energy. Having difficult doing anything, get up to go to work, getting to the gym!!
Been trying to do stuff on the computer, but can't seem to work out what I am trying to achieve!
My partner is doing really well and studying, but I am just stuck where I am!!
It seems that everyone, is moving forward and have a direction in their lives!! Can't seem to find a way out!! I haven't been sleeping that well, I have put on the meditation CD that you gave me, to help me fall back to sleep again!!
Any advice or help that you can give me, would be very much appreciated!! :)
I hope to hear from you soon.
Dr. Debs Reply:
I'm so sorry you are struggling. On reading your email it really came across to me that the way you are feeling is caused by not taking control of your life.
Of feeling that everyone else has control but you don't, that perhaps you don't deserve to take control somehow.
My thoughts are, 'what is the worst that can happen if you begin to ask for what you want?'
Do you think you'd feel any worse than you do now? Do you think that taking a risk by moving in a direction that you'd love would hurt you or help you?
Do you think it will be too difficult? Yes it might be for a while, but honestly, all change is challenging and asking for what you want and continuing to ask for what you want is the way forward.
From our sessions together I know that we've gained clarity regarding what it is that you would love out of your life.
Ask yourself, what's the next step? - what's one thing that you could do to move you forward? And just do that.
Good luck, Go with my love, Debs xxxx
Clients reply:
I believe with your help that anything is possible!! And nothing is impossible!! Just need to find what I want!!
Thank you with all my heart for help!!
P.s - of you course you can use this on your website!! It would be my privilege to be part of something that has changed so many lives!!
Thank you so much!! You are so right, I think that I can't or don't know how to take control and when I start to move emotionally in the right direction, I stop!! Like this business idea! I have started piecing it together, but I find it difficult as struggling to find what I am trying to achieve??
Wednesday 4 May 2011
Body mind spirit workshop
Pilates/Group Coaching and Meditation Workshop
With Dr. Deborah Kerslake and PilatesPlusWellness - Rosa Whitehead
Sunday 8th May 2011
10am – 4pm
Book Today by contacting Rosa to reserve your space
rosa@pilatespluswellness.com Mob 07879637733
Feel the connection with your Body/Mind and Spirit –
The workshop will include Pilates and stretching class to energise and at the same time relax you for the day ahead. After Pilates and Stretching we will explore and explain how the mind actually works. Then we will go through a goal setting exercise to help clarify what it is that you’d like to achieve and by when; and create a few points that you can action immediately to achieve that end result. Finally, we will be doing a reflective process to cement this desired outcome into the unconscious mind – where all change happens. If we take control of our lives and thoughts and give our direction some focus and attention, it’s amazing how things can change for us.
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else. Yogi Berra
The last part of the workshop is a section on meditation. What is meditation and how can it help you in everyday life?
We will explore different types of meditation
Clapham North Arts Center, Unit 7B, Fwd studios, Voltaire Road, sw4 6dh
12 spaces Available per workshop. £75 per person Book Today and Take Action
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